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Thursday, May 3, 2012

Dr. Milton R. Spradtwinkler and the Llamacorn


Hello friends, my name is Katherine Spradtwinkler-Hessenfroff.
In light of a recent discovery in the field of Fantastical Biology by my colleagues, Dr. Naddie Boyne and Professor Me J.M Potato on the llamacorn, I thought I might share with you a photograph taken by my great grandfather, Dr. Milton R.  Spradtwinkler.

A great believer in the llamacorn, dear Doctor Milton had been the laughingstock of the fantastical biology community, who were all trying to track the exceedingly rare migration of a flock of Useful Congresspeople, and politely tried to have my great grandfather's membership to the League of Fantastical Biologists revoked. 
Nevertheless, Dr. Milton R. Spradtwinkler  continued his search, and finally in 1864, he glimpsed the creature that had eluded him for so very long. 
He observed the llamacorn for several minutes before taking this picture. 

Lama Unicornica. Photograph by Milton R. Spradtwinkler


From examining his field journals I can see how excited he was about his find. 
"I finally found my Lama Unicornica! That will show Leopold Fitzpatrick at the League of Fantastical Biologists, and all those other stuck up charlatans he keeps in his company! Who's a deluded lunatic now Fitzpatrick?!"
Unfortunately, Fitzpatrick and the other "charlatans" accused Dr. Spradtwinkler of photoshopping the photograph, to which Spradtwinkler called Fitzpatrick "an ugly footed anachronism," and eventually, the entire League was involved in a bloody knife fight in a public library, which resulted in the deaths of three central members of the League, as well as very many heated arguments on the most effective way to bait a Singing Dragon (The wide majority agreed on lemon balloons). 
Those who survived the ordeal, had their science licenses revoked by Charles Darwin.



Thank you very much to Katherine Spradtwinkler-Hessenfroff for her insightful history on llamacorns, and thanks also to Naddie Boyne and Me J.M Potato for they brilliant photographs of the Lama Unicornica, which I recently had the pleasure of seeing on miss Boyne's blog, and is also way cooler than the one taken by Dr. Milton R. Spradtwinkler. And extra thanks to Wikipedia for keeping knowing when Darwin died.
-Lady Elisabeth

4 comments:

  1. Not only does this post reveal quite a lot about the Lama Unicornica, but a lot about 1800s technology. Who knew that photoshop is a lot older than we all thought? And the technology for colored photographs! Fascinating. I sense a future research paper forming...

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    1. Yes, it is widely believed that the League of Fantastical Biologists had a hidden time machine, although until this photograph surfaced there was no proof. Perhaps we should invite Miss Spradtwinkler-Hessenfroff back to tell us more?

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    2. Absolutely! The quest for knowledge should never be hindered or postponed!

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  2. This has just become my second favorite blog post of yours. The honor of first goes, of course, to The Safeway Story.

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