Thursday, October 27, 2011

Weekly Obsession: One. Tiny. Flaw.

I'm going to try to post these weekly, just an insight to my thoughts.

I do karate.
It's amazing, and I would have to say that it's my release. Once I put on my uniform and step onto the mat, suddenly my mind... empties.
Well, that's the wrong way to say it, it's more like my mind simplifies until there is nothing but my own sweat, tears, and determination.

I would say that its the best feeling in the world. Except when something isn't working.

I have no upper-body strength whatsoever, and I melt at things like pushups. I accept that. Okay, I don't accept it, I just know my limits, and I bend them a bit more each time.

What I am really proud of, are my kicks.
I'm tall and (relatively) flexible, so usually kicking is fairly easy, and the more complicated, the more I like it. (For example I adore jump inside roundhouse kicks, where you spin around, jump and do a roundhouse kick in midair, landing gracefully.)

Today, I was working on a combination of kicks, and I had been practicing it a home. I had it. I was exploding into the jump, my kicks were high, and I was hoping my teacher would give me my stripe (literally a stripe of color coded tape meaning I had mastered a specific thing) for it.

He came over to see what I was working on, and said, "Good, but turn your toes down more, it's a side kick."
I flushed. It's a simple pop side kick, and a mistake I make often, but today I felt like I had shot myself in the upward-pointed foot.

I ran through the combination twenty times, trying to fix my imperfection. I didn't just want to get it right, I needed to get it right.
Each time, my toes were an inch off at least.

We moved on to working on something else, and the end of class came.
He didn't give out any stripes.

My mom reminded me that it's an adult class, and my teacher doesn't give out stripes until the testing for the next belt level is coming up, and she's right.

But I still can't help thinking, What if  I had gotten my foot in the exact right position? Would I be one green stripe closer to a brown belt?

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

(grabs soap box and megaphone) This is my feminist rant of the day

So today we went to Diddam's, (which is a party store chain that sells awesome halloween stuff) to buy the components of a dark angel costume for my preteen sister (and possibly a helm for me).
I was helping her shop, and thats when I ran into an aisle of costumes like this*:

Needless to say, I was horrified. Almost every women's costume in the entire store was by the same company, and looked more suited to strip clubs than trick or treating.

I am five foot seven, and a women's medium/large, and although I plan on making my own knight costume this year (it's gonna be really good), as my sister Jayne looked for black angel wings and a mask, I asked The Question.
The Question that is frowned upon (or at least considered prudish) in our modern society:

"Do you have any adult women's costumes that come below the knee?** Because I want to find something I can wear without shame as a teenager."

A woman in the next aisle over laughed and I heard her say "Not likely".
The guys I asked just sort of stuttered for a minute and then said something along the lines of, "Um.. Well... There's Spider-woman... and we have some... greek stuff?"

Needless to say, the Question made me a customer of intrest in the Diddam's , and one of the guys came over every few minutes asking if we were finding everything ok. (To his credit, he was a really nice guy, and actually said at one point, "I think whores probably wear more clothes than that, and would be ashamed to put that on")

We wandered about through the aisles, pointing out the costumes that were modest ("Hey look! You could be a nun... with a whip!"), and Jayne finally decided on a pair of dark blue shimmery wings and a little black mask. We paid and left.
That was it.

Nobody else in the store had seemed the slight bit disturbed by the costumes, or even the life size cardboard cutouts of small women with large breasts wearing them. Not even a tic.
I think that's the scariest thing of all this Halloween.

Lady Elisabeth

*I used this picture, because it's the Alice in Wonderland costume. I would like to remind you all, that in the stories by Lewis Carroll (who I'm certain would be more shocked than I, and probably more insulted), Alice Liddel was seven years old. This dress might fit a seven year old.

**Usually I would have added "and not slutty," but at that moment, I was willing to settle for just below the knee. Or even the ability to bend over.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Salade de samedi (saturday salad)

I made an awesome salad for lunch. It looked like this (before I ate the entire thing)
Now I bet you're wondering, Why would she post a picture of her delicious salad? That's so weird, and rude, because now I want to eat Elisabeth's salad, but I can't!
Well you can, because I put up this picture so I can show you how to make your own Salade de samedi!

Step 1.
Cut up about a quarter of a brick of tofu, and cook it on medium heat in a nonstick pan until it gets goldeny.When it gets goldeny, break it up with a spatula like so

Step 2.
Wash and cut some lettuce. I used three leaves of butter lettuce, but use whatever you have available:

Then wash and cut celery and half a pear
If you have any micro greens, wash those too.

Step 4.
mix together equal parts of yellow mustard and honey. I used fancy shmancy lavender honey that we got in Hawaii, but use whatever.

*Note* my honey mustard came out really thick, so I'd recommend thinning it with some water.

Step 5.

Put everything in your bowl and pour the honey mustard on top

Step 6. 

Eat and enjoy AWESOMENESS!!

Lady Elisabeth


Oh Internet!
Why must you mock me? I flip through webpages and blogs, reading what others write. Some sites are so popular, with hundreds of followers and fans.
Others (like me) wallow in obscurity, maybe three people reading our lives.

Does this sound shallow?
I guess so. I don't mean it that way. I just wish I knew their secrets.

This blog has gotten 136 hits so far, the majority consisting of me. Thats sad.
I don't think I want FAME fame, I just want to know that someone out there is listening, and I'm not just typing out my opinions and views for nobody but a computer that doesn't care to see.

Is that so wrong?

Lady Elisabeth

FRENCH! (now you can know a little as well)

Bonjour Amis!
Ça va?

You can probably tell that I am taking french class. It's very highly fun. Allow me to demonstrate the coolness of the French language:

Salut! Je M'appelle Èlisabeth. Je suis Americainne, je suis de California. Il et une heure dix-neuf.  --
 Hi! My name is Elisabeth. I am American, I am from California. It's 1:19.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Beautiful Video

Absolutely beautiful, and sad.

I HAVE AN EXCUSE! (this time)

... I was in Hawai'i, and that is why I have not posted in so long. Don't think I forgot about you!

It was totally gorgeous, but I must say, I missed my bed... And writing of course!
I hope to have really really superepiccool things to tell you guys about soon, but for the moment, I need to go upload some photos :)