The Obsession: I will not fail, I cannot win

How many of you are doing NaNoWriMo? If you are, WHY ARE YOU READING MY BLOG???YOU HAVE A WORDCOUNT TO KEEP UP!!!
If you aren't, and have n idea what i'm talking about, basically a bunch of (crazy) people try to write a book in a month.

This is my second year, and last year I failed.
Actually,  I was the only one of my friends who failed, and that feeling kind of hugely sucks.

All my friends and I are writing again this year, and all their ideas are amazing. (one of my friends is writing about a cactus smuggling ring, operating from inside a greek restaurant that's name nobody can pronounce, and was a struggling shoe store in the 80's)

My story is Sci-Fi (you can read a bit on My BFF Potato's and my writing blog) and I love the story, but it's So. Hard. To. Write.
I DO NOT WANT TO FAIL. IT IS NOT AN OPTION IN ANY WAY. Failure makes me feel like crap, and I know, everybody feels like that, but doesn't everybody say "learn from your failure?" I don't. I freak out, I obsess over whatever i've done wrong, and cry.
It's immature, it's unproductive, but it's all I know how to do.

Lady Elisabeth