This is Harder Than I Thought... (Blogging and The Plague)

I apologize for my absence.

FIRST: My whole family got ridiculously ill with what I like to refer to as The Black Plague of 2012. We were all coughing (actually, we're still coughing), moaning, and running really high fevers. Everyone except my dad.
Luckily, that's all over, and we're pretty much ok now.

SECOND: I also haven't been posting because of the internal chaos over at Starlit Castle. If you don't know what that is, (firstly SHAME!) go check it out, because it's a bunch of teenaged girls who (in theory) write stories, poems, songs, and whatnot. Also Potato is part of it, and she's my awesome funny best friend.

This internal chaos is relatively simple: I am herding cats.

I like all of these people, and I am in charge of making sure they stick to schedules, don't make too many tags (note: guys, stop making so many tags), making announcements, and I still have to keep up with my own posts.
So being a nice person, I really don't want to yell at my friends to do what they're supposed to. But it just makes me infuriated when they don't.

On a lighter and less frustrated note, I think I designed a banner for this here blog on a Starbucks napkin, and will get that all set up as soon as i can find it.

Legos

Often, Jayne somehow convinces me to come look at something in her room and we end up playing legos for hours. And not those stupid Friends things either, we have a whole town called Shane, complete with Katy the engineer/mayor, Shelly the brilliant doctor (and overprotective mother), Lisa the spy, and a pack of badass genius teenaged warrior girls. We're pretty awesome.

I am so going to tell you all about it, and maybe I'll put up pictures of our favorite Minifigs later.

So the story is complicated, and changes around all the time, but basically, it started with the combination of several star wars sets, pirate sets, and this set:

Being the fantastically creative, "THROW AWAY THE INSTRUCTIONS!!!" people that we are, we just built whatever we wanted to.

The first thing we did (of course) was build some people. I think it began inhabited by Luke Skywalker, Mace Windu, and some random pirates. Of course this all changed.

We were sorely disappointed by one thing: we owned exactly one female face (technically, we had two but the other looked really weird, so we didn't use it), and Jayne promptly claimed Princess Leia's head as her own. So I improvised.

I took a rebel trooper face, and stuck it on a police uniform backwards. Then I gave her a black bob, and a gun and named her Katy Ferris, weapons and robotics extraordinaire. Oh yes.
 I think she only really changed a couple times. I once gave her longer hair, but that didn't stick, and now she wears a leather jacket and black pants instead of police clothes.

Jayne had been busy too: She had constructed Ivan Murray, a military dude who was married to the doctor I had just made. And then Jayne proceeded to make them some kids.

There's Elderone (yes that's his name. say it like Elder one), and he has a two younger sisters: Snow, and i can never remember the other one's name but she's really cool.

Now our world has expanded, making room for islands filled with pirates, sassy redheaded chefs, gothic spies, magical trains, pirate princesses with head scarves, an overemotional robot commander named Sob, spacecraft of all shapes and sizes, and three different jails that have all been destroyed.

In short, we kind of got carried away by the awesome.

Imagine This Boy:

Blond, six feet tall, skinny as a string bean, charming smile, braces.

Ok, now imagine this girl:
Dark brownish hair with washed out bits of blue in it, five seven, 160 pounds, glasses.

Imagine if that girl got his phone number. Imagine she asked him to a dance.

Imagine that due to politics, that dance got cancelled.
Imagine she texted him.

Hey maybe instead do you want to come over to my house for pizza and the crappy eighties movie of your choice?

Imagine he said yes.
Imagine he's coming over next week.

Lady E (sorry no signature, I'm on the iPod)

Stupid people make me angry.

I mean seriously, didn't you people practice at all over the break?????

That is all.

Safeway.

So yesterday, my mom was sick, and Jayne was depressed. I was neither, and we needed milk, mac and cheese and ice cream, and vanilla extract. Also Suburbia has lots of sidewalks, and a Safeway within walking distance.
So my mom gave me twenty bucks and I left.

The walk there was pretty uneventful (although I did get honked at and given a really creepy smile by a construction guy...) and then I got there.

This is where the weird started happening.

First I got the milk, and the milk we get looks like this: (my dad's lactose intolerant.)

So I picked up a thing of milk, and put it in the basket. Then I realized I got the one that has lactose, which looks like this:

This is not the right milk. So I tried putting it back on the shelf, but Safeway has one of those spring loaded shelves that make it really hard to put stuff back. And the milk was off the top shelf. Oops.
So I'm jumping and pushing on this milk, trying to put away this unwanted vitamin enriched milk, and this old lady who could have win a "really grumpy Betty White lookalike contest" just stares at me.

I can almost hear the "Stupid ass kids ruining our neighborhood" running through her brain.
Finally I got it back and grabbed the right one (It was by the soy milk), and ran to the ice cream isle.

I knew what Jayne wanted (Ben and Jerry's Whirled Peace) so I ran to the Ben and Jerry's section... and it was the only one they didn't have. And I 'm banging my head against the glass, when I remember, "I HAVE MY PHONE!!!!!"

So I called the house, and longer story shortish, I got her the Steven Colbert's Americone Dream.

Then I had to find the vanilla extract, and realized that I have no frickin' idea where vanilla extract is.
Crap.

So I ran around the whole store trying to find a helpful Safeway employee, and I finally found a nice guy named Jun in produce, who conveniently knew that extracts are in baking. I guess that makes sense...

So finally, I had everything!! Yay!

So I headed to the checkout, and the guy rang me up. And then I remembered that the Safeway is in Generica, not Suburbia. And in Generica, they charge ten cents for a bag.

And of course, Friendly Safeway Guy didn't tell me this. Thanks FSG.
And double of course, I had every stinkin' coin besides a dime. Crap again.

So finally I just give him a dollar, and while he was giving me my change, I found a dime in my wallet.
But I got the bag, and that was a small victory... except that it didn't have handles.

So I walked home hugging a freezing bag for maybe half a mile (but it still wasn't fun) in my high heels, because I had forgotten that their higher than my old ones.

I finally get home, and put away the perishables, and my mom asks,
"How was it?"

Dear Fashion

This post contains profanity simply because sometimes a sentence just needs a good "fuck" for impact you know?

Dear Fashion

I'm sorry that I'm not a super model. I'm sorry I'm not a Barbie doll. But most of all, I'm sorry that I'm a person.

I eat just like my friends do, and yet they're all zeros, threes, sevens. And you say to me "this is what you should be."

Well I'm not.

So maybe I don't fit your smalls, hell I don't fit your mediums, and I'm sorry that your mini skirts make me lookalike a cheap prostitute.

You can suck my metaphorical dick, and find a new slave. Don't expect me to starve myself for you. You're not worth it, and I am.

Fuck off, love me.

WE'RE SORRY

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